Is say it often; each adoption journey is unique. Like raising bio kids, there is no way to understand fully what people go through in order to be pregnant/what trials they face in raising those little people. That being said, our March family of the month has such a unique story about their journey and trials they have faced on the way to adoption I just have to share. Their story gives a window into another type of adoption most may not think about. I encourage you to read this and our other family’s stories. Their words will give you more perspective on what those around you are dealing with…so without further ado: in their own words!
It happened in the summer of 2008. We were both so young. I was in a band, finishing up our first gig at the local skate park. Megan was with her best friend, going to hang out with our drummer. Honestly, it was a fluke that we even met that warm Saturday night in June. I was about to leave my friend’s house when I forgot a cable in the van. I ran back inside to get it and right at that moment, a stunning girl pulled up. I was encapsulated immediately. I put on the charm and asked her out on a date. She was so different than everyone else.
We started dating shortly thereafter and then became serious. There was one problem though. I was about to leave for college and she was about to start her senior year of high school. We knew it would be tough, but we decided to give a long-distance relationship a shot. That first year together was one of the hardest. Being away from each other day in and day out in separate states was agony. But we made it through. We persevered. She followed me to college that following year and we soon got engaged. Initially, we were confused when we had trouble getting pregnant. It was so simple for our other friends.
As the year passed by, more and more people we knew were getting pregnant, but we weren’t. We got concerned and visited a fertility clinic to see if maybe something was wrong. That was where our world came crumbling down. We soon learned that my condition made it impossible for us to ever have biological children. This was the first real hurdle we had ever faced outside of that first year of dating. It was so much worse than anything we had ever faced. It would have been all too easy to let it eat away at us and tear us apart. To let it poison everything it touched. But something happened that was rather unexpected. We didn’t grow further apart. No. In fact, we became stronger. Determined. We were going to get through this together. We persevered.
After we both graduated, we moved back to our home in Memphis and settled into adult life. We both got jobs. We got a puppy. We bought a house. We found a church. We were making friends. We started saving money and being responsible. All the things you do as an adult. Everything was moving great. We didn’t have a care in the world. We had always wanted to have children and now felt like the perfect time. Everything was just right. That first transfer was all excitement and butterflies. We put in one embryo and anxiously waited until our beta test. We got bittersweet news.
Yes, we were pregnant but for some reason the development was behind. We were told we needed to keep an eye on the little one. We prayed so hard that everything would work out. And day after day, the baby grew stronger and started to catch up and we became so hopeful. Then tragedy found us once more. We had a miscarriage right around the ten-week mark. We were leveled. We loved our baby so much. We later learned that it would have been a girl. We named her Gabriella. We had made it through so many struggles but this – this was the worst thing that had ever happened to us. But we were determined to not let it break us. We persevered.
After a lot of discussion, we decided to try embryo adoption. This was so new to us. And the more we read, it was so new to science as well. This type of procedure hadn’t been around for centuries. It hadn’t even been around for 50 years even. It was cutting edge. We began the process with an embryo adoption agency and started our home study. That was when the most curious thing happened. By chance, one of our friends had actually gone through an IVF cycle and had children. They decided they were done but there was a problem. They still had 10 embryos on ice. They didn’t know what to do. These embryos were just sitting there in a stasis. That was when they reached out to us to ask if we would be interested in adopting their embryos. We didn’t know what to say. It was all so overwhelming. For the first time, in a long time, it felt like we were being led down a path. God had a plan for us.
So, at long last, here we are. We decided a long time ago that genetics doesn’t matter. And now seemed like a good time. We needed a break from all of the emotional stress and the hormone therapy that was wrecking Megan’s body. So, we put our embryo adoption dreams on hold for now and decided it was time to adopt. We want a child so badly. We always have. I always used to joke that my wife was born to be a mother. She truly was. God made her that way. I know that there is a child out there who needs us, and we will love that child unconditionally. We will not take having a child for granted. Not for even one day. We will raise this child with love and make sure they have the best life we can provide. We will fight for them every day. Because after all, that’s what we do. We persevere.After a time of grieving we decided to do another transfer. We put in two more embryos but unfortunately, neither of them took. We lost both of them as well. Then after some more time we tried for a third time. Determined that this was it. Lucky number three, right? God wanted us to have these babies after all. When that third transfer failed, and we lost two more embryos, that was the lowest we had ever been. We were completely floored on our back wondering why this was happening to us. But we made it through. We persevered.
We are now currently active with Faithful Adoption Consultants and we are actively seeing cases for domestic infant adoption. We are so excited for what the future has in store for us. Thanks so much for taking the time to learn about us.
Bow Descriptions: Both Megan and I are designers so it was so much fun choosing bow fabrics and colors. The yellow polka dot fabric we feel is a great example of the kind of people we are. Fun, happy and bright. The black linen pattern has a lovely texture and will give a very classic look. And we absolutely love the quirkiness of the velvet so of course we had to have that as a fabric as well. And besides, what’s life without a little weirdness? Check out the bows below and then click the link to shop!
