Meet Our November Family of the Month, The Throckmortons

Soemtimes things are just meant to be.  I usually don’t like that saying, but in this case, it fits.  Get ready to have all the feels for this month’s family, the Throckmortons.  I’ll be honest…I knew the story, but when I read it again I was hanging on every word as if I didn’t know the outcome (and I may have cried a little).  Part of the joy of being in the adoption community is that you have the pleasure of getting to meet folks like this.  I am sure you will be as moved by their story as I was (and continue to be).

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Without further ado – In their words (Part 1):

We became active with our adoption agency on April 1.  It was now May 31st.  We had been waiting for our match: for 2 months.  In private adoption, you view lots of files, say yes to most, and then wait for a birth mom to say yes back to you.  Two yesses makes a match.  For a couple of reasons, we were struggling to say yes to many cases; one of which being finances, but the other was less tangible.  Bryan and I just kept seeing cases and thinking “I don’t know why but this one, again, just doesn’t feel right.”  We would find a reason to say no and move on.  One evening, I opened an email to a case with this disclaimer, “we know that on paper you are not open to Down syndrome, but felt led to send you this info.”  Wow.  Down syndrome.  We hadn’t even considered this.  What would that look like?  How would our life change?  Why do we feel differently about this case?  Why is it so hard to say now?  We talked and prayed and considered all the angles.  It just didn’t make sense. It was too different.  Too unknown.  Too uncomfortable.  We just weren’t ready for this big of a change.  We decided to say now.  It was a HARD no, but we thought it was the right choice.  On June 12th, we got an e-mail that would rock us and change everything.

June 12.  I woke up to the alarm I had set on my phone to alert me anytime we got an email from our agency.  Another case.  A stork drop.  In the adoption community a stork drop is extra urgent and exciting because it means baby has already been born and no family has been selected.  IT means you have to act fast and you would packing up and traveling immediately.  My heart starts racing.  After 30+ cases we had sadly been conditioned to scroll down to the bottom and check the price of a case before reading all the details and getting too attached only to find out that it was way out of our budget.  This is especially true of a stork drop because you need the full amount immediately, no further time to save your money or fundraise).  So, I scroll down. I’m shocked. The case is not only in our price range, it’s significantly lower than any other case we have seen.  So, I scroll up and start from the top.  “We have send this out previously…We know you may have said no to Down syndrome on paper…”  I knew exactly where this was going.  This was the same case.  The same case we said no to almost 2 weeks ago.  The same case and the same little girl who hadn’t left our hearts since the day we first heard her name.  And this time – All I could see was her face.  There had been no photo on the first e-mail.  This time there was.  Her beautiful face.  First thing I did was immediately call our consultant.  “Why was this case back?  What had happened in the last two weeks?  Why wasn’t she matched?”  Our consultant said a lot of things on the phone that day but I heard only one thing, loud and clear.  “Not a single family said yes to her.”  No one said yes.  A sweet baby is sitting in a hospital with scared loving birth parents willing and waiting to give her a good home and no one said yes.  My heart was broken.

Long before we even started with an agency, Bryan and I decided we wanted to pursue private, domestic adoption because we wanted to be a loving option to a birth mom who felt out of options…who had no options.  This family had no options.

God had given us more grace than I could ever imagine in giving us a second chance.  Now, I just hoped Bryan would feel the same…

We had made the decision to say no.  It hadn’t been easy, and had a soft spot in our hearts for this family, but we were sure it wasn’t us who would be her family.  Or were we?

I remember walking downstairs – Bryan was on the porch drinking coffee and the kids were riding bikes in the driveway.  A fun summer morning.  I got myself some coffee and walked outside, “did you see the case?”  Yeah!  Did you see it’s the same baby?” He said, “Yeah, crazy, huh?  Courtney said no other family said yes.”  That was it.  We spent the next hour or so ignoring the situation at hand.  Bryan played with the kids, I distracted myself on my phone, secretly reading the case details over and over…I was sure Bryan had his mind made up.  He came and sat back down, the case clearly not weighing on him at all.  We had said no, I guess I needed to move on.   “I think we need to say yes.”  The words just came flying out of his mouth like he couldn’t hold them in any longer.  I just looked at him.  “I knew we said no and that this doesn’t make any sense, but I can’t get her off my mind and I feel like this time we can’t say no.” I just laughed.  I think he was really confused at this point.  “I feel the exact same way…”

So, there it was, we were going to say yes.  The reality of saying yes was that because no one had said yes before; we knew it was unlikely anyone else would this time.  This “yes” was likely going to be an immediate match…and the baby was already here, which meant things were about to get real crazy, real fast.

Oh…and this baby was in Japan.

Check out part 2: Here

For the bows the Throckmortons chose for their fundraiser and an explaination, plese click here:  See the Bows!

Remember 100% of profits go to the Throckmortons in their continuing efforts to mitigate adoption expenses.